12/13/06 notes.

things were so simple back then. i wish we could go back. i would do anything, i would give my life, to just relive this day and never look forward. just stay. stay this way.
i wonder how different things could have been if- you never hurt, if i never hurt you, if you would have never left.things COULD have been PERFECT. but whats the use?
we have to learn to cope with how things are now. i want to make you happy.
i want you to make me happy. its not that hard. we are fucking soul mates, i know it. do you? when you figure it out, call me. I'll be ready to start over.

Summer 05

Sitting on the beach, Talking on the phone.
Escaping through the window just to be alone.
Jumping the fence, holding eachother all night,
Kissing and laughing, to make it allright.
I like having you here, were laughing all the time,
I tell you i love you and then I make you mine.

You walk me to the corner,
Now I'm back home.
I'm thinking about today,
But here in bed, I've never felt so alone.

I still have you here,
I still feel your touch,
I still hear your voice,
And I still miss you too much.

old letter

remember that time we thought the world was over?
when i just called you, and cried and cried in my closet?
we said we would run away and i was packing my stuff, and
then we got distracted... and ended up going to sleep together.
i remember you telling me everything was going to be ok.
of course, i believed you. and in the morning, nothing really changed.
we still had eachother. yeah, things were going to be harder.
we would have to see eachother behind closed doors, behind everyone's back.
but maybe things were meant to be this way, secretive.
we hide things we know no one else would understand.

Phone Conversations 06

Call me,
We'll lock ourselves in our rooms,
Different places, one voice.

-Our mouths on the phone,
We'll talk, and you'll tell me everything-
I want to hear.

We will laugh at each other,
We will spill secrets,
And we'll fall asleep,
Together.

Goodbye.

You wave goodbye, and get into your car.
You smile and kiss me promising you won't ever be too far.
It'll be a long trip, we won't be able to see each other
you lie and say we'll find a way,
we will always need one another.

It starts to rain,
And you say you have to leave.
On the outside I smile,
On the inside I scream.
you hold my hand,
you start to tear,
I hold mine in;
trying not to think that you won't be here.

You tell me you love me,
you swear it won't be too long,
but we both know the truth,
and were both very wrong.
You tell me you'll miss me,
And try to keep in touch.
You tell me you need me,
and you love me very much.

I can't help but let go,
And I start to cry,
I fight to hold it in,
but it’s too difficult to try.

you hold me and promise me,
We'll always be together,
you kiss me and squeeze me,
and say you'll love me forever.

Then you start the car-
and I already feel alone.
when you start to drive away,
I know you won't pick up the phone.
And i try so hard, to forget all that happened today.