12/13/06 notes.

things were so simple back then. i wish we could go back. i would do anything, i would give my life, to just relive this day and never look forward. just stay. stay this way.
i wonder how different things could have been if- you never hurt, if i never hurt you, if you would have never left.things COULD have been PERFECT. but whats the use?
we have to learn to cope with how things are now. i want to make you happy.
i want you to make me happy. its not that hard. we are fucking soul mates, i know it. do you? when you figure it out, call me. I'll be ready to start over.

Summer 05

Sitting on the beach, Talking on the phone.
Escaping through the window just to be alone.
Jumping the fence, holding eachother all night,
Kissing and laughing, to make it allright.
I like having you here, were laughing all the time,
I tell you i love you and then I make you mine.

You walk me to the corner,
Now I'm back home.
I'm thinking about today,
But here in bed, I've never felt so alone.

I still have you here,
I still feel your touch,
I still hear your voice,
And I still miss you too much.

old letter

remember that time we thought the world was over?
when i just called you, and cried and cried in my closet?
we said we would run away and i was packing my stuff, and
then we got distracted... and ended up going to sleep together.
i remember you telling me everything was going to be ok.
of course, i believed you. and in the morning, nothing really changed.
we still had eachother. yeah, things were going to be harder.
we would have to see eachother behind closed doors, behind everyone's back.
but maybe things were meant to be this way, secretive.
we hide things we know no one else would understand.

Phone Conversations 06

Call me,
We'll lock ourselves in our rooms,
Different places, one voice.

-Our mouths on the phone,
We'll talk, and you'll tell me everything-
I want to hear.

We will laugh at each other,
We will spill secrets,
And we'll fall asleep,
Together.

Goodbye.

You wave goodbye, and get into your car.
You smile and kiss me promising you won't ever be too far.
It'll be a long trip, we won't be able to see each other
you lie and say we'll find a way,
we will always need one another.

It starts to rain,
And you say you have to leave.
On the outside I smile,
On the inside I scream.
you hold my hand,
you start to tear,
I hold mine in;
trying not to think that you won't be here.

You tell me you love me,
you swear it won't be too long,
but we both know the truth,
and were both very wrong.
You tell me you'll miss me,
And try to keep in touch.
You tell me you need me,
and you love me very much.

I can't help but let go,
And I start to cry,
I fight to hold it in,
but it’s too difficult to try.

you hold me and promise me,
We'll always be together,
you kiss me and squeeze me,
and say you'll love me forever.

Then you start the car-
and I already feel alone.
when you start to drive away,
I know you won't pick up the phone.
And i try so hard, to forget all that happened today.

My star

So now I'm going to sleep,
A million thoughts and memories
Running through my head...
Are you here with me?
Or is it just me?
I've tried to escape in,
dreams with you.

Can't believe I've gotten this far,
I know you miss me,
You know I miss you...
I love you more than anything,
No matter what we go through.
Here I go, falling more in love with you.

I'll stand by your side,
Until the very end...
And if I don't,
Then I promise I won't ever love again.
Don't let me go,
I want to be close to you.
You’re taking control of my thoughts,
I swim through decisions,
Trying to find you in the rain.
I need you more than ever tonight,
So here I am,
Calling out your name.
In my bed,
You are somehow here with me...
Looked out my window...
At the brightest star that I could see,
And I pretend it’s you,
Watching over me.

(On my 18th Birthday)

You say everything is right, everything is beautiful?
I guess i'm too weak on my own,
but i know you won't leave me.
I want to runaway- but not alone,
tell me you'll come with me?

we'll fly away where no one will find us,
Tell me you'll pick me up before the sun comes up?
And on a quiet wild night-
we will leave everything behind us-
in your car,
we'll discover that no one can take our youth.
Everyone needs to know,
and they will wonder where we went.
where we'll go?
but they'll never know.
And I know in my soul,
nobody but you will love me-
no one but you will touch me-
will know me, will care about me, will kiss me-
the way that you do.

you're all I have
when this world caves in, and leaves me empty
but you, you give me all I need and more.
one look at you and I'm gone-
One kiss when were alone and I know,
I can move on.

Tell me a secret, that no one will know?
Give me a kiss, that takes away the cold.
I need you here,
once, twice, three times and infinity.
give me a reason to live if you're not here?
when you tell me you love me, do you know how I feel?
when i'm in bed, smiling and talking to you?
feeling only your voice? in my heart, my soul?
You make me feel beautiful.
when I sleep next to you, when I feel you close..
it is like nothing in this world-
its more.

come closer, let me make you feel new.
Let me tell you what I feel,
these feelings only for you.
my one and my only,
my only one is you.
the night is so quiet, I want to feel you,
like a blanket over me, out at sea,
I'm not alone.
no, I'm here with you.
tell me you can't survive without me?
not for one night?
I will follow you where ever you go,
Because you're all i've ever known.

& when were together-
the whole world is nothing.
and I know if I have you,
I'll never have to open my eyes again,
because everything I've dreamed of was,
in a dream,
with you.